Flirting actually is intuitive, but can be difficult to do if you have the wrong mindset and don’t understand the technicalities behind it. Luckily because of the pickup community, it has been broken down to a science, so learning how to flirt will not be so difficult after all!
In this article, if you are still confused on how to flirt, two specific flirting techniques will be discussed to help make flirting easier. They are Push/pull and a playfully challenging vibe.
Firstly, when saying that flirting is intuitive, it actually is, as when we tend to be comfortable with someone and like someone, we tend to tease that person in a playful way, or Playfully challenge them.
Think of a younger sibling or close friend. On numerous occasions, you may have poked fun at them and even challenged them on something in either a serious or playful way because you knew they would not hate you for it or take it too seriously.
This will make the person actually like you more as counter-intuitive as that sounds and make the relationship you have more arousing as it is not only just one emotion.
This concept applies directly to meeting girls, as in order for her to become attracted and aroused by you at that moment, your mindset has to be that of playfully challenging her. The idea is to both challenge and do it playfully, as one or the other could lead to too much friendliness or too much aggressiveness which both turn off girls and humans in general specifically in a cold approach situation.
Now that you understand this, you must also understand that flirting is mainly about the sub-communication and that what you say is less relevant but still has a place in the interaction. Remember this, as this theme will come up again and again in any material you study and any articles you read.
So we went over playful challenging, so what is push/pull? Push/pull is similar to playfully challenging, but can be explained more in a technical way.
To explain, push-pull is any statement, action or mannerism that Pushes a person away emotionally and pulls a persons emotions toward you simultaneously.
- I hate that I like you.
- You are so annoying, yet you are kind of charming.
- We would not get along (classic from old school pick up)
Push/pulls can also be a little more creative and complex by giving the girl compliments as teases.
- Why are you so adorable? Stop making me fall in love with you… (Said with a smile but slight annoyance)
- You are too cute and charming, but because of this you make me nervous, so I think we can’t talk anymore. (Said with a smile and joking tone)
Push/pull can also be done through physical mannerisms. An example is you could pull her close, and then if she says something you don’t like you push her away lightly or let go of her hand and look away. This will get her chasing more and arouse her. When learning how to flirt, you want to aim to give her more of an amazing experience in the interaction through multiple channels, and physicality is one of them.
Another example is you can also go for the kiss, wait for her to lunge forward to kiss, and then turn your head away before she kisses you and say “I’m too shy“ while smiling and teasing her. This move is obviously done if she was looking at your lips and looked very sexually aroused.
Now if you haven’t realized by now, because flirting is mainly in the sub-communication, technically you can say anything and make it into a push/pull. You voice tonality, facial mannerisms, eye contact and body language can say a completely different message compared to what you are actually saying verbally.
You: “I think we really get along.”
Now this phrase on the surface level is a compliment and not really a push/pull or playfully challenging. However, lets say you said “I think we really get along“, but instead you said it with a tilted head, a bit of a skeptical voice tone and squinting eyes while crossing your arms. The message is completely different and is now a push pull as the words are pulling her towards you emotionally, but the sub-communications are pushing her away emotionally as it looks like you are unsure of her.
This concept when used correctly arouses the girl and creates feelings of attraction. What they also do, however, is hook her attention onto you.
Hooking is important as during the initial beginning moments of the interaction, the girls attention will wander off onto whatever she was doing if she cannot see some form of value from you at that moment, or arousal. This is not because she is mean, but rather because it is just human nature, as we will not focus very long on anything that does not capture our attention or affect us emotionally.
This is one of the most interesting concepts in learning success with women, so go and try these out!
- Flirting or playful challenging is intuitive, and we do it with people we are comfortable with.
- Push pull is any form of statement, action or mannerism that pushes and pulls the person away emotionally simultaneously.
- Push pulls go deeper than just words, as it is mainly in the sub communication.
- Flirting is important when meeting girls, and mainly in cold approach, as when learning how to flirt, the girl needs to feel arousal in order for her attention to stay on you for an elongated period of time and for you to bring the interaction forward.