In ‘Cocktail’, Saif Ali Khan’s notion of impressing the fairer sex arrived on the back again of this cherished a single-liner: “Kya aap believe that karte hai really like in very first sight mein… ya primary dobara ghoom ke aaoon?”. If that sounds a little shady, hold out until you hear this. In ‘Mujhse Fraandship Karoge’, Saqib Saleem’s go-to line for expressing his like to the item of his passion was “Mere dil, jigar, liver mein ho tum…waqt bewaqt aaye woh fever ho tum… ab toh meri lifestyle mein permanently ho tum.” Who in the planet can make comparisons with an uncomfortable fever sound intimate? Yep, none other than Bollywood.
© Eros Worldwide
Bollywood has, more than the decades, been criticised for peddling an unrealistic, and a fewer-than-great brand of romance in its chiffon-crusted sing-song in its Swiss Alps entire world, but what’s even far more dismal is its track record when it comes to depicting the numerous flirting measures adopted by its romantic heroes.
In pretty much each and every intimate movie, the broody masculine hero resorts to working with shady and low-priced methods, often bordering on harassment and stalking to declare and prove their really like to the girls in their lives. It really is as if each and every Bollywood hero has taken a top secret oath to not have a flirting tactic if it is not embarrassing, downright gross or fully usable. I signify, positive when SRK reported “Palat… palat” to Kajol in ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’ almost 20 several years ago, we sighed and hoped she would change again. It might have been aspirational and even adorable then, but instances have improved now, and no girl would consider any guy seriously if he decides to acquire her in excess of by inquiring her to ‘Palat” in a crowded community system.
© Yash Raj Films
But that is the detail. Indian guys also have nothing other than Bollywood to search up to for reference when it comes to finding out the tips of flirting. And, even following all these yrs, the ability of Bollywood to exert influence on our minds, identity and conduct continues to be enormous. We see our favorite actress donning a new fashion tend and blindly hop on to the bandwagon by purchasing the correct very same seem. So how are we to just magically end hundreds of thousands of Indian gentlemen obtaining encouraged by the romantic antics of their macho heroes onscreen?
The worst portion is that the moment these antics translate to the real globe they are rarely intimate. Nearly all Bollywood movies resort to romanticising stalking and building it seem like an intrinsic part of the courtship method. In films, a hero adhering to a woman he likes is regarded as an act of flirting he is following all just exhibiting his affection by subsequent her and making sure she’s secure. By natural means, in genuine existence, stalking a girl who may possibly not reciprocate your inner thoughts generally doesn’t conclusion up achieving this kind of harmless connotations. But, most importantly, guys subsequent absurd flirting strategies of their male heroes also poses another obstacle: It minimizes what is supposed to be a everyday exchange in between two sexes to a funless affair.
When finished correct, flirting can established the temper way far better than a candlelight evening meal or a motion picture date can ever can. It can be that fascinating bridge that basically leads two men and women to the location of their relationship. It really is the to-and-fro that will come with a power to get to know each and every more accompanied with a quicker beating coronary heart and a blushing face. Late evening texting and relaxed dates you should not require to be wasted in smaller communicate, when two folks come to a decision to flirt their way by means of it.
So then, the query really is, what stops Indian males from currently being fantastic at flirting? The solution as it turns out is suspiciously very simple. Our hookup era and its reduced-awareness spans have ensured that flirting is treated as nothing at all but a mere stopgap right before sexual intercourse. As a consequence, the two events, and specially adult males not only refuse to consider it severely but also put incredibly minimal energy in making certain this phase turns into a lot more satisfying. The very pleasant and critical process of flirting is then dispensed a relatively much too hurriedly.
Few that with the reality that growing up most Indian males have had little or no interaction with gals their age, thanks to the attractiveness of separate educational facilities for boys and ladies. And by extension, they have primarily incredibly small plan on how to converse with a woman they might be intrigued in. Our social conditioning has been so unhelpful that it has been unknowingly casting a large doom on our appreciate life.
But, the premier section of the blame for why flirting has turn out to be absolutely nothing small of an afterthought for most adult males also rests squarely with Indian females. The accountability of initiating any trade concerning two persons who like each other almost generally unfairly rests on the adult males.
© UTV Motion Shots
And, we women of all ages have been just likely with the move considering the fact that time immemorial. We anticipate our crushes, boyfriends, and husbands to generally make the very first transfer. To say the ideal matter. To flirt with us the way we want them to with no ever supplying them an concept of how we want them to behave with us. All of these factors may possibly seem to be modest, but over time insert up to make a evident vacuum in our enjoy life. If we you should not explain to the gentlemen we enjoy that anticipating us to tumble in adore with cheesy pickup strains from pop-tradition isn’t the way to our heart, who will? Expecting Indian men to flirt flawlessly with out ever training them how to is like anticipating them to find their way in pitch darkness.
At this place, even expecting Indian adult males to magically study the flawless way to flirt overnight appears to be like a bit of a stretch. Naturally, it’s going to get several years of undoing, and a several more months of spoon-feeding. But the have to have of the hour is definitely for Indian ladies to acquire up the obstacle of producing the first move or asking out that adorable person you noticed at the bar. At the time that is done and quantities are exchanged, prevent whatsoever you’re carrying out and get started flirting, and then see him increase up to the problem.
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Photo: © Fox Star Studios (Key Graphic)