Just after 20+ years of formal international exploration on the matter of more youthful adult males dating more mature women, I am seeing the Cougar relationship pattern changing. I am fired up to see the final barrier to male/feminine associations last but not least being dissolved and searching for its have level toward permanence. There are continue to more mature gals who want a boy toy or a no strings connected connection. They may perhaps be permanently fed up with searching for one thing very long expression, really don’t want to remarry and take pleasure in the freedom of possessing a buddy with gains in which there is minimal or no drama. And that’s fine. As I typically say on my Cougar dating web-site,”There is a lid for every pot.” But what I am noticing and hearing from each adult men and girls on my site is that the younger adult males who are not “thrill seekers” or inexperienced at Cougar relationship and the ladies who have gained positive activities relationship younger adult men and do not want to go back to dating adult men their age or more mature are looking for a little something more very long long lasting, significant and, dare I say it? Lasting.
Yes, studies from my internet site are exhibiting that some 90% of women of all ages are looking for appreciate and probably even relationship to a younger person. The BBC described in a documentary that 25% of our neighbors across the pond are happily married to younger men. 30% of more mature females are open up to and courting more youthful guys in the United States. Despite the fact that there are numerous newcomers to Cougar courting, 45% of women of all ages who have dated younger gentlemen before and do not approach heading back to courting adult men their age or older. I am locating that the more mature Cubs, generally mature young guys in their late 20’s to 30’s and more mature, are fascinated in very long expression relationships, especially if they have beforehand dated or been married to more mature ladies. The Boy Toys (which is what I simply call the ‘serial players’ tend to be males from ages 18 to mid and even late 20’s who are inexperienced with women of all ages, laboring underneath what I have termed “The Fantasy of Stiffler’s Mother”, or thrill in search of with as a lot of women as they can get preyed upon by. Indeed, Virginia, the 30 yr aged male virgins do exist, and lots of of them are wanting for an more mature female to display them the ropes. The fascinating thing is, at the time they experience a effectively rounded connection with an more mature girl, they are way considerably less inclined to put up with as a result of the immaturity, selfishness and lack of lifetime experience of a female their age or youthful. This is when a lot of Boy Toys transform to devotees of Cougar courting. As one youthful Cub from Atlanta explained to me, “I was not on the lookout for enjoy. I wanted to hunt as several Cougars as I could and just have exciting. And then I satisfied this excellent lady from New York.” He is fully in enjoy and isn’t really adore grand? He went from wanting to do the job his way up the age ladder to slipping head in excess of heels with his Cougar female. I just like when people come across every single other, and as I usually say, “there is a lid for each individual pot.”
Considering the fact that Cougar dating is getting to be extra mainstream in the United States, more and additional women of all ages are coming out of the closet. I am seeing a lot more ladies from the midwest and the southern states signing up for the internet site this 12 months in excess of previous yr, when the bulk of associates ended up from larger sized cities this sort of as Los Angeles. The United kingdom and Canada have traditionally been “out” and you’ll be tricky pressed to discover anybody who has not heard the expression “Cougar”. Hate it or really like it, it is here to remain so ladies are starting up to embrace it and determine it for themselves. It is shedding its derogatory connotation and guys are acquiring that there is no “one definition suits all” Cougar. As the myths of the leopard print wearing, female predator gives way to soccer moms, secretaries, lender tellers, lawyers, the just about every working day girl replaces the adolescent male fantasy, and women are starting to be much more at ease searching at guys 7 years or more their junior and declaring, “Why not?” And far more and additional youthful gentlemen are telling me they are slipping in appreciate with their Cougar women of all ages.
Mainstreaming Cougar courting is major to environment huge acceptance of this cross generational courting development a development which is here to keep. My members are coming out of the closet to their pals and household associates. Actuaries will even concur that statistically talking, it just makes sense for an older woman to meet, date, mate and marry a younger gentleman. I spoke with a retired Harvard properly trained health-related health practitioner recently who told me that biologically it built much more perception for a woman in her sexual key to date and marry a male in his sexual primary. The girls enjoy being with a gentleman who is attentive, affectionate, energetic, essential, protecting, enjoyable and has considerably less baggage than his older male counterpart. The adult males like staying with a girl who is nurturing, mature, has lifestyle standpoint, is aware of what she would like, isn’t really needy, insecure or shallow. The pots have observed their lids. The lids have located their pots!
It is only a all-natural segue and an effortless glance into the Cougar crystal ball to see the obvious: There will be far more very long phrase Cougar and Cub interactions and marriages just around the corner. Thrill seekers, however, need to have not utilize.